A final blog post

My mom asked that I post the following message:

It has been almost a year since our last post.  As with many things in life  we get busy and things get overlooked.  And, this blog was one of them this past year.   Another reason may be because we haven’t had a whole lot of happy news to report.  It was always our goal to keep this blog informative but not too depressing. 

As you probably read from our last post a year ago, Bill’s cancer returned.  Spots were found in his lungs, his back and his liver.  The most aggressive was the liver.  Over this past year Bill was on many different rounds and types of Chemo.  Some “standard of care” and some experimental. 

In the fall, Bill’s hip began hurting and soon thereafter became excruciatingly painful.  It was cancer in his bones.  It was mostly taken care of with radiation, but at the same time the disease in his liver was growing rapidly. 

On February 18 and 19^th, Bill went to work as he did every work day since he was diagnosed.  On February 20^th, he finally decided to take a sick day, as he was just completely worn out.  On February 21, Bill saw his doctor and at that time they informed us there were no treatments left to try and that we should contact Hospice.  Four days later on February 25th – one day before his 55^th birthday – Bill passed away at a Hospice Center in Houston, Texas. 

I truly wish I could write and tell you that we were able to beat this horrific disease, but I cannot.  What I can tell you is this:  Bill lived life to it’s fullest for 54 years 364 days.  He was a man of honor, integrity, compassion, humor and love. The Lord may have taken him earlier than his family would have liked, but as the 400+ people at his memorial service can attest, Bill touched lives.  Many lives.  He never let cancer get in his way.  He went to his doctor appointments and he did his treatments, but the rest of the time he lived HIS life the way HE wanted to. 

Bill was at peace with himself, his family and his Heavenly Father.  I know, and his children and grandchildren know, that there is a special place in heaven for this special man.  He was deeply loved and he loved deeply back.  He will be missed…. Very missed.

Finally…. A gigantic thank you to our extended family, our dearest friends, our Noble Drilling family and our church family.  Your support has been no less than miraculous and we have felt loved and well taken care of. 

If someone runs across this blog and would like to read of our journey, we encourage you to do so.  However, just because our journey did not end with the miracle of life, it did end peacefully and with the faith and knowledge that we, as a family, will be reunited again one day.  We will always pray for those that continue to fight this disease day in and day out.  We will pray that soon there will be a cure for this disease.  But, in the meantime, we will do just as Bill asked us to do…. We will live life and move forward.

Much love to all,

Maureen

Moving Forward with Cancer

I apologize for being long overdue in writing a post about Dad.  Life got a little crazy for me and it was hard to have a minute to sit down and write a post-- (side note:  having four kids is a lot of work).

SO--- a lot has been going on recently.  About a month or so ago, Dad went in for his scan results which he received at the end of his chemo round.  This is the same round of chemo that he was getting over Christmas and through the New Year-- I think most of you knew that he was on chemo because they found a few spots.

The results of the scans were kind of good news/bad news.  Good news first (because frankly, who wants to get to the bad stuff right away?)... the chemotherapy was effective on the spots that were there and which started him going on the chemo.  This was great news.  So, the bad news is that the cancer popped up somewhere else and not in one of the best of areas.  Therefore, he stopped his latest chemo and has been started on a new treatment plan.

 TREATMENT:  So, because cancer SUCKS, and doesn't like to stay away apparently, the same drugs don't work the same for everyone and they also don't work the same for each type of cancer or each area the cancer spread.   This really is the frustrating part of CANCER.  It's just so subjective and such a wide range.  Dad has started on a trial that involves several stages -- though I am not sure of all the details on this entire process, we are excited that this particular chemo drug works with Dad's own immune system.  It uses his own immune system to help fight the cancer cells instead of poisoning him (basically).  Since the typical Esophageal Cancer patient is usually older, in not as good physical health and has poor eating/drinking habits, this could be really great for Dad's treatment.  So, there are lots of possibilities here.

Where we are at:  With most cancers, when it comes back it will probably continue to come back.  It's crappy, but people often live with cancer for many, many years and it's more about maintenance, prevention and controlling what is left in one's body.  That's where we are at.   With the new treatment plan, we hope there is success in keeping it all at bay.  

I want everyone to know that right this minute, Dad is FINE!!  He is still not on any sort of drug that is going to make him grow hair or lose hair (hehehe).  He goes to work everyday and continues, loves and excels in his church calling as well as being a pretty amazing Dad and Papa.  It's surreal to think that he even has cancer, because he is just his same old self.  On occasion he gets a bit tired, but I am willing to bet I am more tired than he is these days... just sayin'.  I asked him a few weeks back if he thought that maybe the doctors were lying to him and perhaps it is some kind of conspiracy theory and he doesn't have cancer at all.. because he doesn't seem to have cancer to me.  Of course, he gave me that look of, "Erin, you seem like an intelligent person, but you say the stupidest stuff".  Whatever.  Point is, HE IS DOING GOOD.  We will just continue to do whatever we can do and try not to worry about the things that are out of our control.  His doctors' always say, "Mr. M, you are are unremarkable" (which is hilarious) "you are in excellent health, except for the cancer".

Our family is so blessed and we are incredibly grateful to all who think of us and pray for us.  Thank you.

Quick Update!

Super news!  A couple of weeks ago, Dad had all of the scans done (typical at this point through chemo) and they came back showing that the chemo is working wonders!  50% reduction at this point!  The doctor raved that this is the best we could have expected!  This is incredibly exciting! 

Warrior

 People say that to beat/fight cancer you need to be a true warrior... but I think this might be taking things a little too literally.....

 Actually, this was from Saturday night.  Our church hosted a Pow Wow and as a sign of respect (or maybe just fun) they dressed Dad up in true Native American dress!  Take a good look at those dangles on his knees... those are deer toes people... seriously, DEER TOES!

 It was so fun to see Dad dressed up like this.  He has never had hair that could pull off what this head dress does for him.  Apparently he was wearing about a thousand dollars worth of apparel.  I am sure they kept a tracker on him or something to make sure he wouldn't try to make an escape looking as cool as he did.  There was a lot going on, that's for sure!  Besides the cool head dress, that stick poking out of his head (he almost poked a few people in the eye with that thing, the deer toes, the little sweat band (though I am sure it has some great Native name) and he also had a ton of handmade items on him. 

 Couldn't resist getting a picture with Dad that night!! (Pardon the glare off of BOTH of our foreheads!)  I took some video of Dad dancing around the circle during the pow wow... let's just say I know where I get my KILLER dance moves from!  It was entertaining for sure.  Nice to know I am not the only one who can't keep a beat!  I think I will hold onto the video for blackmail.  Yup, I think that's a great idea!  Anyhow, it was fun to see Dad as a WARRIOR!  Literally.

Side Note:  Chemo is going fine.  A little more tired, but seemingly going on with life as normal.  I mean, as you can see, he doesn't LOOK sick.  He seems to really be managing the chemo well and should be getting scans soon to see how well the medicine is working.  I will update then!

Another go around!

Writing this blog is tricky business.  I want to be informative but I also want to respect the fact that sometimes writing out the gory details doesn't exactly respect my dad's privacy nor does it really help matters.  That being said, here is what I've got to report:

A couple of weeks ago, my dad went to MD Anderson for his checkup.  This is the checkup he has every few months where they do endoscopies, cat scans, pet scans, etc.  After the endoscopy, they said things looked great and his esophagus looked very clean.  That's great news.  However, when the tests came back from the other scans, it showed some spots popping up in a couple places.  Of course, last time there was a spot on his lung and they just zapped that sucker and that particular spot disappeared.   This time they have chosen to go with chemo to hopefully attack any cancer that is in his body.

The chemo now comes in pill form (no more fanny pack.... too bad, I really thought they'd make a comeback!).  He takes 5 chemo pills a day.... Mom says they're like horse pills!  In addition to the pills, he goes in every other Monday for "the juice" which is administered through the port on his arm.  This round of chemo will take 6 months.

To be honest, I have no idea what all this means.  It seems to me, now that we have a bit of experience in all this cancer stuff, that cancer really sucks!  Once it shows its ugly self, it usually will continue to pop up and you have to deal with each little appearance on its own.  So, I think that is where we are at.  We aren't FREAKING out or anything... we are just dealing with another little appearance which should be taken care of with this round of chemo. 

Dad is looking and feeling good.  He is a bit more tired but is his normal self.  I think that is one of the must frustrating things... you expect if he is actually sick that it would be obvious, but it just isn't.  This is a good thing in that the better he takes care of himself and the healthier he is, the better able he is to recover quickly and fight off anything that comes in his way. A month or so ago Dad went to scout camp in west Texas and was hiking and running around like a teenager, so I think you can probably get an idea of how he really is in good shape!

So, this is where we are at.  Dad is doing great so far!  He will have some scans in the next while to make sure the chemo is doing its thing, but besides that life goes on as normal plus five pills.

Apparently, Dad needs more attention...

Below is a letter that my mom sent out to the family a few weeks ago:

Okay... so it seems my husband has decided that he hasn't had enough attention lately and needs the good folks at MD Anderson to give him a booster dose!

A few weeks ago Bill had a PET scan that showed a small "something or another" in his left lung.  They thought it was probably just a small infection or something.  So they just put a watch on it.  Well his latest PET scan showed that the mass was growing and was more then just an infection.  So, onto the biopsy we go!  The biopsy came back positive for lung cancer.  NOW DON'T PANIC AT THIS POINT!  It is a very small mass, is not in the lymph nodes (so no chemo) and should be able to be taken care of with a few more doses of radiation!  He starts radiation on Monday and will be done by the end of the week.  Then he will just go back on the watch list to make sure the radiation gets it all.  If it doesn't then we may have to go to option "B" - surgery.  But, we are confident we will not have to go that drastic!

There is no way of knowing if this is a new cancer or if this is a cancer from a seed cell that decided to choose that spot in his lung to continue to develop.  His surgeon seems to believe that by the shape of the mass that it is a new cancer... but either way... it's cancer and needs to be taken care of ASAP!

I want everyone to know that Bill can't get a pimple on his butt without it showing up on his PET scans every few weeks, so as long as we keep catching these things early, he will probably out live us all because the rest of us get to be ignorant about our insides!

Just wanted everyone to know!

On a happier note... my seventh grandchild should make his way into the world tomorrow (Erin will be induced tomorrow) and I will, of course, keep you all posted on that!

Love to all,
Maureen

I should have posted the letter weeks ago, but alas, you see that I have just had a baby, so let's give this blog's author a little break.

Dad finished his radiation last week and while a little tired, is feeling fine.  He is actually off on a business trip.  So, if all goes well, this will have zapped out the lung 'crud'.  I guess we just wait until his next scans and hope that it is all gone again.  We shall see and I will keep you all posted. 

PS- I was totally grossed out by the mental picture of a pimple on my dad's butt... but also quite pleased that my mother has obviously picked up on my good humor :)

....and the cat came back... so does cancer apparently.

Every few months Dad has had to go in for a series of tests to make sure that the cancer hasn't come back and that everything is ok.  Well, last month the tests came back and showed some cancer cells in his esophagus.  Having the cancer come back, specifically this type of cancer, was very likely and it was something that while we hoped we wouldn't have to deal with, were aware it was a high possibility.

It is important to point out that Dad does not have any tumors, only cancer cells were found.  This is good because it means that he doesn't need to do radiation (as there is not anything to shrink) and does not have to do chemotherapy at this time.  This is really good news.  What they did instead was basically scrape and burn out (sounds awesome, huh?) the inner lining of the area of his esophagus that was showing up as cancerous to take away the cells infected.  It was a one day, in and out procedure that was fairly non-invasive.  For a few weeks he has/will have some discomfort with some foods but that should be all the effects that he feels.

With any luck this will completely do the trick and it will never come back!  But likely this will have to be repeated fairly regularly as new cells appear. 

I told dad that he did this to himself because he was starting to gain some weight and his clothes were starting to get snug and so he needed a new way to diet... He didn't really respond, just gave me this look that I knew was saying "Yes Erin, I willed the cancer to come back to lose weight".  It was the same look he gives me every time I say something stupid like that.

We have wondered lots of things since this happened... mostly treatment options and why they are doing this and not that or that.  For now, Dad is ok with the course of treatment and so I think we are all ok with it and hope for the best.  For me, I don't find this news devastating but more annoying that we are continuing to have to think about this cancer thing again.  The emotional toll this takes on you is much worse than the physical... well, easy for me to say, Dad is the one who has dealt with all the physical stuff, but still. 

Again, I don't think my dad's recovery has been any less of a miracle now than I did before.  He really has had a much easier time than most and we are all blessed for that.  I will keep everyone posted as we know more, but for now, that's what's going on!