Quick Update!

Super news!  A couple of weeks ago, Dad had all of the scans done (typical at this point through chemo) and they came back showing that the chemo is working wonders!  50% reduction at this point!  The doctor raved that this is the best we could have expected!  This is incredibly exciting! 

Warrior

 People say that to beat/fight cancer you need to be a true warrior... but I think this might be taking things a little too literally.....

 Actually, this was from Saturday night.  Our church hosted a Pow Wow and as a sign of respect (or maybe just fun) they dressed Dad up in true Native American dress!  Take a good look at those dangles on his knees... those are deer toes people... seriously, DEER TOES!

 It was so fun to see Dad dressed up like this.  He has never had hair that could pull off what this head dress does for him.  Apparently he was wearing about a thousand dollars worth of apparel.  I am sure they kept a tracker on him or something to make sure he wouldn't try to make an escape looking as cool as he did.  There was a lot going on, that's for sure!  Besides the cool head dress, that stick poking out of his head (he almost poked a few people in the eye with that thing, the deer toes, the little sweat band (though I am sure it has some great Native name) and he also had a ton of handmade items on him. 

 Couldn't resist getting a picture with Dad that night!! (Pardon the glare off of BOTH of our foreheads!)  I took some video of Dad dancing around the circle during the pow wow... let's just say I know where I get my KILLER dance moves from!  It was entertaining for sure.  Nice to know I am not the only one who can't keep a beat!  I think I will hold onto the video for blackmail.  Yup, I think that's a great idea!  Anyhow, it was fun to see Dad as a WARRIOR!  Literally.

Side Note:  Chemo is going fine.  A little more tired, but seemingly going on with life as normal.  I mean, as you can see, he doesn't LOOK sick.  He seems to really be managing the chemo well and should be getting scans soon to see how well the medicine is working.  I will update then!

One year anniversary

Today marks one year since Dad was officially diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer. It's been a wild and crazy year filled with some hard times, but these were manageable given all the blessings and good times that came from our experience with cancer.

Not sure if I mentioned before how my parents told me that my dad had cancer or not, but it is a moment I will never forget. It is etched in my memory and I remember it as if it were yesterday. I always comment how they made sure to tell me in a 'public place', you know like as if I was the person being dumped in a relationship or something and they didn't want me to make a scene. They claim that the only reason they told me at the gym in the see through racquetball court was because it was the only time they could get me alone without the kids to talk to me. Whatever, we see it differently.

I didn't freak out... well, not there at the gym but as soon as I got home and searched the internet. Esophageal cancer is one of the fastest growing forms of cancer. Both in the different types of cancer and actually the speed at which this cancer can effect a person. It was really scary to read the statistics and realize, at the time, that it was more likely that my dad was not going to be here today than the likelihood that he would.

Oh how grateful we are for modern medicine. For cutting edge doctors who looked at Dad as an individual. They were able to give him a prognosis based on what his tumor looked like and where it was located as well as factored in his age, health history and physical health. They gave us hope as well as laying out the reality of what he was up for. What is most miraculous about Dad's cancer is how well he is doing since his surgery. Like I have mentioned before, I obsessively searched the internet to absorb all the information I could to prepare myself for what I thought was ahead of us. This meant I knew all of the things that could go wrong and in most cases do go wrong. It's amazing how little Dad is affected by the cancer on a day to day basis today.

Through this whole experience, I have been impressed with my dad and been able to see him in ways that I never have in the past. I saw him as someone stronger than I had ever known and at times also seen him weaker than I ever had before. I saw my dad as someone who only saw this experience as a bump in the road and took the information given him as a plan to beat what was facing him and that was it. I also saw my dad being a dad to me even when I felt like I should be taking care of him. I saw greatness in him that I think I knew was always there but I was able to see more of it than I ever knew existed.

After big storms, often the skies clear and the most beautiful weather occurs.  That is how I feel about this past year.  We had a challenging year where our family had to really be tested and think about each of our own mortality, but we would not exchange this year for anything.  We have been more united as a family than we have ever before.  Not just our little family, but our extended families as well.  Relationships have been developed more with family but also with friends and acquantances.  Through Dad's experience we have been able to give hope to others in similair situations and also been given a better opportunity to relate to others and the challenges that they face. 

Our lives are temporary.  There is no way to know for sure whether any of us will be here tomorrow or next week or next year or many years from now.  But we know now more than ever the importance of our families and the importance of loving everyone around us.

Small ordeal and new scans being performed this week!

I thought I would go ahead and do a follow up of my dad's post... I read posts from an EC site where people ask questions and give inspiration and hope to EC survivors and families of those affected by EC.  Reading these posts was both informative and beneficial but also terrifying!!  Most people send messages because they are experiencing complications or looking for new hope in a difficult situation, so as you can imagine, I find my dad's recovery to be nothing but miraculous.  Normally I don't like to boast about Dad because his head is already so inflated that it can hardly fit through the door, but I gotta say he really has handled this cancer thing like a rock star.  Dad is a 'matter of fact' kind of a guy and when a hurdle is in his way, he doesn't focus on how hard that hurdle is but only what the quickest and most efficient way to get over that hurdle is.  It's a perspective I need to gain, that's for sure!!

On my birthday last week, Dad was having a little chest pain-- he said it was hurting to take deep breaths.  Being the caring and loving daughter I am, I told him "Suck it up dad, it's my birthday! You just don't want me to whoop you in dominoes!"  -- Yeah, I know, I'm nice.  So, he sat and played dominoes and drank a smoothie and I didn't think much of it.  Then mom called Sunday morning to say he was in the ER because it really started hurting in the middle of the night.

What they found was that a wall of Dad's heart was looking a little swollen and there was some fluid built up.  It was quickly remedied by taking a pill which lessened the swelling and the fluid dissipated.  

Fluid build up is extremely common after surgeries as organs are reacting to the body being opened up and foreign objects being handled inside the body.  Dad will find out more specifics when he goes into the doctor this week, but it looks like something fairly common and a quick fix and he is back to himself again.

This week is a big week.  Dad goes in for all his testing that he will do every six months (I think) and will let us all know whether the cancer really has stayed away or not.  It's a scary thing as esophageal cancer does have a high recurrence rate.  However, one benefit to Dad's little ER overnighter was that they did a CT scan while he was there and that looked clear.  So, we aren't expecting anything but good news.  I will post more after the results come back next week.

Back to the grind-stone

I am making one of my rare guest appearances on my blog. It has been 3 months since my surgery. I have been back to work since the two month point, I must have stayed out just the right time because Maureen did not push me out the door (yet) and I was able to easily put in full days since the first day back. Two indicators that I was probably ready to get back at it. I think getting back to “normal routine” is a requisite for complete recovery. Since this last post (July 8^th), I have continued to wreak havoc on the Racquet ball courts and have been dropped from the invite list to play. Houston ’s weather is just too hot and humid to attempt any golf, but I am ready for the next cold front when the temperature drops below 90. I am planning on a 5K run by Thanksgiving – a family event.

 

A couple of weeks back my sixth grandchild was born. His name is Griffin and he is a handsome lad. Ironically he was born six months and a day from the day I was diagnosed with cancer and told I had as little as six months left, if I did nothing about it. Whew, am I glad I did something about it and boy am I glad that I had supremely skilled doctors and a heavy dose of fervent prayers from family, friends and friends of friends. Between the two, I’ll see Griffin grow up. Thank you all for that gift. Please don’t stop!!

Bill

 

Triumphant Return to the Courts

A few months ago, right before Dad's surgery, we played racquetball with him one last time.  (We aren't professional but we sure have fun playing!).  I had to hold my tears back that day as I assumed that it would likely be the last time I played with him or at least last time for a very long time.  A week and a half ago, Dad was back on the court!!  Still gaining strength, agility and willingness to move from one spot, but nevertheless back on the court.

Pardon the pictures... I took these on my cell phone and it kept focusing on the glass wall instead of the players (who are from left to right... Evan, Dad, Pat and Mom).

It must be said that cancer is a pretty scary thing.  The thing that we don't always realize is the broad spectrum of outcomes that come from it.  I now know that all of the forums, internet research and websites are mostly filled with people who are or have a family member who are recently diagnosed or they are having complications and reach out for help online.  So, what ends up happening is that these newly diagnosed patients and their families are terrified because they are reading about everything that could possibly go wrong!!  I fell into the terrified category, that is for sure.  I should have known better.

Mostly I should have known better because I didn't look in the right place for the answers and comfort I was looking for.  I should have also known better because I am pretty sure almost everyone around me was in tune enough to realize that things would work out as they should even though I wasn't so sure.  I'm kind of dumb like that though... I am the type that has to do things the hard way to learn my lesson.  I have lived a life where the evidence that there is a God and He watches over me and all of us.  He knows us, is patient with us, heals us and teaches us.  A life like ours wouldn't make sense if He didn't exist.  All that being said, sometimes we (meaning me) need to reach beyond ourselves for answers and comfort.  It's there, waiting for us to ask.

---I don't usually get that personal on here, but it needed to be said.

Dad is doing so awesome.  Miraculous.  He eats like crazy (just smaller more frequent meals).  His biggest adjustment has just been realizing what is too much.  He says that he doesn't imagine it feels any different than if he were to have gastric bypass or something.

My parents went out and bought one of those posture-pedic (sp?) beds that both sides move up and down like a hospital bed.  Dad was told that he would always need to sleep elevated.  Dad told me a couple weeks ago that the bed is now laying almost flat when he sleeps.  So, I guess the bed will be most useful to incline while watching television I guess.  Dad has some gnarly scars-- I think I have expressed how cool I think those are already.

Next week Dad officially goes back to work.  It's time.  Last week when I took some girls from our church to camp he came up to visit with goody bags... Dad doesn't usually make goody bags and that is how I know for certain that he needs to go back to work. 

Life doesn't stop when life changing things happen in our lives.  I don't understand why as it is really frustrating to keep going on while you are in the thick of it all.  But I'm grateful life goes on and that we are now going to begin to return to a life of normalcy. 

Dad gets a scan done in August I think.  This type of cancer has a higher than average chance of coming back, but we are all feeling at peace and confident in what lies ahead.-- You know, for now. :)

In other news, my brother, Evan, joined the Navy.  Evan thought it was great when the people down at the recruitment center kissed up to Dad.  I think Dad enjoyed it too.  Nice to be respected, Dad doesn't get much respect from us kids :).

No News really is GOOD news

I haven't posted in a bit, sorry about that, but no news really is good news in this case.  Dad is doing awesome!!!  Can I just take a minute to say how amazing that is!? I'm talking miracles.  Due to my slightly controlling and obsessive personality I have done my fair share of research on the subject of esophageal cancer and heard all the statistics and the complications and all the "what ifs" and have sufficiently freaked myself out on a number of occasions.  To this I say to myself, "I should have listened to my dad".  It's true, I don't say that sort of thing all the time because frankly, I try not to listen to him, but he was right about all of this.  From the very beginning he treated this all like an inconvenience and a bump in the road and thus far, that's exactly what it's been.  Maybe the miracle was that Dad was right.

Recovery wise, the man is a champ.  He goes on outings each day, runs errands, etc.  He is eating... and I am not just talking a bite here and there, he has been wolfing food down!!  He does need to eat smaller meals (probably the size the rest of us SHOULD eat regularly) and he feels pretty dang full if he over eats, but he wants and needs to eat more often.  So, about every two hours he is on the hunt in the kitchen for something to dig into.  Since his whole digestive system has had a bit of a shock (taking out a portion of it could do that), he is still adjusting to its new...'schedule', but I think that would be typical with any major surgery... just adjusting to the differences in your body.  Dad is still getting fed through the feeding tube at night but plans on asking them if he can be finished with it at his next appointment because he is getting plenty of nutrition.  

Dad has also been hitting the gym with us on some mornings.  Sadly, he isn't in racquetball condition yet but he walks the treadmills.  It's good to see that he is being so proactive in his recovery.  It still makes me laugh how the nurses kept telling me that Dad must be in really good shape or when they asked me if he was an athlete.  SUUURRRRRE he is. Yesterday he wore some running pants that I had not seen him in since New Years.  Something mysterious happened... Dad lost his butt.  Someone must have stolen it... it may have been me.

His incisions look good-- I made sure to check them out myself last night during our dominoes marathon.  They hacked him up good but all the scabbing (ew) and stuff is all but off so I think the scars will be minimal eventually.  I still think they look awesome and wish I could get some scars but not have any surgeries or be hurt or in any pain to receive them.  Cosmetic scars?  Yeah, I doubt that will ever turn into a 'thing' people want.

Last week my uncle and aunt came to visit... I will post more about that next time (have to get some pictures from my mom) and I will also post about my parents new addition--- a new addition equipped with two remotes.  I know, I've got your mind reeling. 

Update and Surgery Date

Total post drought, huh?  No news is good news folks!  Don't you know that!?

Spring is here!  Isn't it wonderful? When I think of Spring it just makes everything feel fresh and new... a rebirth of sorts.  It feels as though the dark winter has passed us (as dark as Texas winters get anyway) and now we are moving into a season all anew.  I suppose that is how our mindset has been lately.

We are in a new chapter of treatment.  It's a good one.  It involves stuffing dad's face with as much food as possible-- which has resulted in a 7 pound weight gain thus far for both Dad and myself-- and getting him a bit more buff and healthy before surgery.  My dad borrowed some of my husband's shorts because his waist size has shrunk quite a bit.  We are down to 34s and those are large!  Hopefully we can keep it where it's at.  I'm really going to have to rethink how I feel about my body if my dad starts being able to fit into MY pants.  Nevertheless, while he has lost a bunch of weight, he also has gained back 7 pounds in just a couple weeks and he doesn't look sickly or anything.

Easter weekend Mom and Dad went up to Dallas to visit those OTHER grandchildren.  That's right, 2/5 (almost 3/6... or 1/2 if you are simplifying your fractions) of their grandchildren are in Dallas and belong to my sister.  This is a picture of Dad and Kyra dying eggs together.  Miss those nieces of mine!

In other news Evan was home this past weekend and Pat (both my brothers) is here this week.  Of course, I neglect to get pictures of them with Dad as always, but they've been around.  Instead I treat you with more pictures of myself and Dad.  I've been making it my mission to harass Dad to work out.  He's wiped the floor with me playing racquetball a few times which I am finding quite embarrassing and is starting to effect my self esteem.  Nevertheless, it's really good and fun to play racquetball with my dad again.  Dad seems like his old self again, at least for now.  We are soaking up his 'normalcy' and aren't thinking about cancer so much right now, though it's there in our minds... and in dad's esophagus.

Surgery has changed to May 17th.  That's a Monday.  34 days away.

Radiation is OVER!!!

 Well friends and family, radiation is over!!! Yee haw!  Dad finished up his last proton therapy treatment on Thursday (sorry I am just now posting, but I do have a life... yeah, it's true).  I nagged my parents enough that they actually brought the camera and took pictures on the last day.  So, for your enjoyment, these are the pictures from the last day of Bill's radiation.

 This is the fancy certificate Dad got for finishing up radiation.  I don't really think of radiation as some sort of exciting celebration but I suppose the completion of a treatment that intrudes on your daily life so much is certainly something to celebrate.  Dad had to go for radiation treatments every day Monday through Friday.  The treatment itself only takes about ten minutes but it is a big chunk out of his day as he has to drive all the way down to MD Anderson and back plus whatever lines he has to wait in beforehand.  Some have asked why he has to go down to the main MD Anderson for the radiation and it is because of the specific type of treatment he was getting (proton therapy).  Plus, it's the best center for it and when you have cancer, you want the best.

 Billy boy ringing the gong!  Looks like he is being kind of timid as he is hitting it.  If it were me, I would be all into it.  I would use large gestures, putting my whole body into it and slam that gong so hard that the people in the next building over would hear it.  But, that's me and that's why my children are sure to become incredibly embarrassed of me.  Soon.

 Here is the radiation "team".  Apparently the radiation team consists of several girls in their 20's... must be part of the healing process.  Ha!  Seriously though, we are grateful to these ladies and the incredibly knowledgeable docs who picked, what we believe to be, the correct course of treatment.

These next two pictures are of my dad falling asleep while waiting....

 In the email my mom sent with these pictures she said she wasn't sure if I would want to include these... what is she talking about?  OF COURSE I DO!  Though I am slightly disappointed that we can't see drool coming out his mouth or that he didn't fall off that chair, but I am just one of those people who thinks that would have been funny.  It was nice to see these pictures as I was curious as to what the rooms looked like.  However, they are the same doctors waiting rooms that I have to wait in.  You'd think with all the money doctors are making these days that they would come up with some happier wall colors. 

Since radiation has been done....  Dad has been so happy.  He has snapped out of his "cancer 'tude" as mom and I have called it... it was just him being tired and uncomfortable all the time and being short with us.  He probably wouldn't agree but we are glad it has passed.  He can eat!!  It's coming back slowly, he hasn't eaten a whole cow yet or anything but it's coming back.  At church today he actually said he was hungry.  I haven't heard that in a long time so that was a most excellent sign.

In Dad's quest to "GET BUFF", he has been going to the gym.  He went last week for the first time in awhile and attended a barbell strength class.  My mom and I go to that class often in our own efforts to get lean and mean, but dad had never been.  Mom took him and his scrawny little self (he has lost some serious muscle mass.  I had never seen his legs that small.  Sadly, I think they were smaller than mine.  I told Dad that it looks like his head on my Uncle Rob's body).  Anyway, he lasted about fifteen minutes before he left the class.  His endurance just isn't really up there yet.  He'll get there though.  I think that for the first time back he did alright.  There was a guy who was teaching the class and I guess he gave dad a couple head nods of encouragement before Dad walked out.  I told Dad he should start wearing a shirt that says, "I have cancer so everything I can do is amazing".  I might have to find that instructor and tell him myself.. you know, defend my dad's manhood or something. :)  I keep telling him that if I had cancer, I would play it up as much as possible.  I wouldn't be able to do anything for myself as I would just use cancer as my excuse.  I'm a lot lazier than him though.

I am questioning whether or not to report the following as it embarrasses my mom and I quite a bit but I suppose for the sake of revealing how my dad is doing, I ought to share.  Yesterday my mom, my dad and myself went to the gym to play racquetball.  Mom and I play at least once a week together so we hold our own.  Well, the very first game dad spanked us.  I mean, by quite a bit.  We thought surely he would sit the next game out to recuperate, but he said he was good to go.  Second game, I won, but BARELY.  I was at game point for almost a half hour.  Finally I think I wore Dad down to the point where he was just out of gas.

I think that's what's going to happen... Slowly he will start building up that strength and endurance and then hopefully he will be as close to 100% as we can get him before surgery.  Even though mom and I were embarrassed that 'cancer boy' beat us... we sure were having fun playing racquetball with Dad again.  And now we will actually start playing and stop letting him win!!!

Chemo is OVER!

It has come to my attention... thanks to my aunts... that while most have enjoyed the added pictures to the blog, some of you might actually be wondering how DAD is doing.  Well, he is doing great!!  Chemo is over, port is out and he is finally free of the fanny--both pack and booty.  There really wasn't much to say about it.  It's kind of been the 'same old, same old' with getting chemo, feeling lowsy and feeling really tired.  

Yesterday the doctors took the pack back for the last time--I was saddened that he didn't get to keep it but apparently it is specially designed for a certain pump and wouldn't be good for much else.  They also took out the central line.  This was causing Dad some discomfort as it went up his arm, he could feel it right by his throat (which made eating even more uncomfortable) and down his chest.  There is something about having a foreign object in you that your body just doesn't like.  The port area was especially uncomfortable because he had broken out in some sort of a rash due to the adhesive or adhesive ointment that they used.  

Dad has certainly lost some weight since this whole thing began and before he started chemo he was feeling like his pounds lost were pretty ideal.  However, with chemo and feeling nauseous and not keeping too much food down, he did lose more.  He's mostly frustrated by his muscle loss.  Sooo....

So here is the plan.  After a couple more days of radiation Dad plans to hit the gym.  Hopefully this works out.  Like all of us, we all plan to hit the gym and pay the ridiculous gym prices to attain bodies like greek gods, but it sadly never comes to fruition.  But, he should be able to gain back some muscle tone.   This will help his body be stronger for surgery which is scheduled for May 13th.

Dad also hopes to gain back some L-Bs (pounds) by being able to eat more.  As of yesterday and today, he has been able to eat quite a bit more already and that is still with some left over chemo working its way through his system and radiation still going on.  So, this is looking very promising.

Also, the parents are each planning a mini trip here and there.  I'm glad that they will be able to get away for a little time.  I'm on dog duty--as always-- so I am going nowhere... just so you know.

As I mentioned before, surgery is schedule for mid May.  When they went over their appointments at MD Anderson, they looked the months over and have absolutely ZERO appointments in April!!  That is so awesome.  Perhaps a little normalcy.  That will be oh so nice.  This will also include a slow in blogging unless I decide to post how proud I am that I am beating my dad at racquetball... it doesn't happen often so I may have to take advantage of this post chemo/radiation while I can.  Yes, I am totally one of those people that will relish in my win even though I am beating some 52-year-old with cancer. 

I am anxious to see how Dad will feel after radiation.  When that finishes up, I will have to post about how he is feeling.  Since he has done the chemo and radiation together it's been hard to distinguish what side effects are from which treatment.  We are almost done with this part of treatment!!

Countdown to the end of chemo!!! 2 days left

 My dad served in the Navy for 22 years.  He is retired--11 or 12 years ago now.  He joined after high school and continues to try to convince me that the smartest people are in the Navy branch of the military.  I was almost believing him until that Navy reality show came on and now I'm not so sure.  Seriously though, I am really glad that my dad joined the military.  It really has shaped him, our family and each of us as individuals and given us a real sense of patriotism.  Hardly a day goes by that I don't personally think about how fortunate I am to live in this country and how grateful I am for the freedom it affords me and my family.  I think all that comes from my dad's service.

This is the beginning (notice we are still in black and white...seriously?).  1976.  Dad's initiation and the end to his stylish coif of hair.  Shortly after that it was buzzed for boot camp.  I can tell by how he is standing and looking that he is pretty excited about his joining and I am actually feeling proud of him for that very moment just looking at this picture.  Joining the military is a pretty big deal and I feel fortunate that he (and my mom) made that choice.

Ah, a man in a uniform... even if it is my dad, he isn't such an unfortunate looking fellow in this picture.  Now I am not meaning to be too prideful here, but I really am proud of my dad and hope I can instill my children the values that were instilled in each of us kids because of my dad's service in the military. My dad's kind of a big deal you know--- well to me at least.

When I was 8, my mom, my sister and I were able to board the USS Carl Vinson aircraft carrier and cruise with it from Bremerton, WA to California.  Pretty awesome and certainly a once in a life opportunity.  I have a horrid memory, but I remember a few things vividly:

• My dad was an officer at the time so we were able to dine in the officer's dining room.  The other levels of people either got the cafeteria style or fast food looking style.  I found that interesting, but paid little attention as I downed at least 10 gallons of chocolate milk only served in the officer's dining room.  Fondest memory of this trip.
• The "dog machine".  That's what they called the ice cream machine aboard.
• My sister crushing on all the young military guys whose responsibility it was to watch us
• Going under the Bay bridge and the Golden Gate Bridge
• Getting lost.  I found someone to help me but he made me wait until he finished his rounds before returning me.  It was like an hour and at 8 that is an eternity.  This ship was huge, you would have gotten lost too.
• A lot of ladders and uncomfortable bunk beds

Thanks for serving in the military Dad!  Ya done good!

Countdown to the end of chemo!!! 3 days left

I'm calling the following pictures "The Glory Days" as these are all pictures of my dad (and my mom) during the high school years.  Something you ought to notice in these pictures is how my dad has a thick head of hair--not that you wouldn't notice it... it was the 70's.  His hair is exactly like my brother Evan's hair so lots (or little) for Evan to look forward to.  Well, probably not as my mom's dad still has his locks and Dad's hair was already in recession by the time he was Evan's age.

Football!!!  Here's dad doing what he loved best in high school---you know, when he wasn't making out in photo booths with my mom.  My dad has one grandson (mine) and another on the way (my sisters') and so I think more football could be in the future.  Sometimes on Turkey Day my dad will go out and play in the morning with people from church.  He goes all out and practically kills himself (along with the other middle aged men who attend) just to keep up with all the youngins.  It's fun to hear stories of my dad playing.  He has an old black and white jersey that all of us kids have worn around the house at some point and it always makes me smile when he wears it.  He wore it Friday morning when I went over for a pancake breakfast.

Alright, alright... here is a picture of moi sporting the jersey (and some pretty sweet roller skates).  This picture is kind of blurry but I can already tell the jersey was a lot less "holy" back then.

PROM!  My parents met each other in second grade.  It's a little fuzzy to us kids when they actually started dating or if they ever dated anyone else.  My dad said that I should definitely include this prom picture because he said, "Your mom was looking pretty hot"--egh, ugh... sorry, I threw up a little in my mouth right then.  Anyway, my dad is wearing a pink suit.  Even back then I can't imagine that was the best fashion direction to go.  I mean, my mom looks timeless, but my dad... *sigh*.  That whole ensemble is screaming for me to make fun of him.  The ruffles, that tie, and.... is that a ring on his left ring finger!?  Woah, I think it is.  If that is a promise ring I might have to be revived after dying from laughter.  Well, maybe it's just a school ring or something, but the left finger is kind of suspicious.  Anyway, it's probably good we can't see his feet because I can only imagine what shoes were worn to match this pink suit.

Ah, Senior picture.  For me, I look at this and see how very much my brothers look like my dad.  Each of them took different characteristics from my dad but I can see both of them in this picture.  Also, I know that the hair is real in this picture--all of it, sideburns and eyebrows included--but seriously, it looks a little like a toupee.  Well, if I can look past all that and that ruffle shirt, I can see that my dad is a pretty handsome guy.  In fact, I don't think he has changed much at all.  He still pretty much looks like this to us.

3 days left!  Hallelujah!!

Countdown to the end of chemo!!! 4 days left

Hope you don't mind a compilation of photo booth pictures... there are just SO many.  My dad LOVES taking pictures of himself and I think that photo booth pictures qualify as that so we have an outrageous number of them in our family pictures.

I'm calling these oldies, "Bill & Mo: The Dating Years"







And people, they are just as nauseating today as it clearly must have been back then.

Countdown to the end of chemo!!! 5 days left

Since this is the last week of chemo- hoo rah!- I've decided to post pictures of my dad from the past in celebration.  Radiation lasts for an extra few days after chemo, but chemo is gross stuff.  It has made Dad feel like crap so I am happy to celebrate the end of this part of treatment with photos...

An oldie but a goody!  I'd say we are looking at a picture circa 1959.  My dad is the youngest boy in the picture along with his older brothers and their dad. I've picked this picture to share for several reasons: 

• 1- It not only will prove to embarrass my dad but my uncles as well, so it has triple effectiveness.  
• 2- Before 2 years ago, I literally had never seen a picture of my dad under the age of 16.  I don't understand why this is, but up until this point I never believed my dad was a child.  To me, he was born my dad.  Now I have proof that he existed and grew up like the rest of us.
• 3- It's in black and white folks.  He's THAT old.
• 4- Also, look at that swimming pool!?!  For real, there is no way those three boys and their dad fit into that pool sitting down.  It makes me think about the size of that pool, the quality of it but more so about those swimmers.  No, not just the swimmers, but those swimsuits!!  (I'm chuckling about those suits right this second)
• 5-Because it has my grandpa in it.  I never knew my grandpa Mc very well as he died when I was 8, but I get to hear stories about him a lot.  When I think of the person I am, I think that I am very much who I am because of my parents, which in turns makes me think that my dad is probably a good portion of who he is because of my grandpa. 

It must be those "happy drugs"....

Every Monday at chemo, MDA gives dad "happy drugs".  Well, at least that is what we are calling them.  Really, it's some sort of anti-nausea drug that they give him through his port, but it makes him feel pretty good.  Last night as we were practicing for our church lip sync competition (which we are going to rock), Dad seemed to have boundless energy!  In fact we were all getting pretty tired during our card game later in the evening but Dad was still rarin' to go.  I gotta say... he was kinda like this...

Yeah, I got a hold of all the family pictures...I'm actually the backup in case my parents computer crashes again (it's happened 2 or 3 times now already) so they can still have all their pictures.   Of course, this makes them mine too.  Funny thing is even though I'm moved out with a family and a home of my own, I still feel like I have claim to all of my mom and dad's things.  I think that's part of being a kid... and a mooch like me. Anyway, I've been feeling like this blog needs a few more pictures... this one will do.  Bill (Dad) circa 1976.

Please take the poll!

We are on cloud nine today after such positive news from yesterday's MDA visit.  With any sort of illness it is important to really celebrate the good news!!!  Anyway, when I first told my daughter about how Papa was sick and he would have to take medicine for a long time, I told her that he would probably lose his hair and even his eyebrows!  She thought that was hilarious.  Of course, this was before we knew what chemo meds he would be taking and whether or not they were the variety that would have him losing his hair or not.

So, please take our poll over there on the left sidebar!

Two steps forward, One step back...

Turns out I exaggerate a bit... I don't really consider this a character flaw, but more a strength of mine.  I am more of a "cup half full" kind of gal.  Perhaps this trait came threw a bit on my last post. 

So, dad had one really great day where he was able to swallow normal food.  It was a good day and one that looked incredibly promising and seemed as though he was really turning a corner.  This looked like evidence to us that everything was going to be normal again.  Of course, that isn't how cancer works!  DUH!  Us "cup half full"ers are so naive sometimes.

As it turns out, not much has been staying down since that one good day.  This isn't fantastic as it means that dad has lost even more weight. -- Apparently, the way that weight loss works is that the less you eat, the more you lose.  I know, total epiphany to me too.  I had to write it here to perhaps document that philosophy for my own future personal use. -- Anyway, speedy weight loss is a dream to most of us but we are trying to keep the pounds on dad not have him losing anymore. 

After this 6 week chemo and radiation cycle, he will have 6 weeks off and then he will undergo surgery.  This will be a pretty big surgery which will basically cause him not to be able to swallow food for many weeks and he will probably lose a good 25 pounds over that time.  Therefore, losing all this weight now is NOT AN OPTION!  Sure, we plan to fatten him up plenty the six weeks prior to surgery but we don't want our job to be harder than it has to be.

My dad is a practical sort of guy.  He fully intends to keep trying to eat as many calories as he possibly can, but he also knows that he might also need to supplement this effort with some help from the doctors. Monday he goes to MD Anderson for his big day where they hook him back up to the chemo drugs and zap him good with radiation (he goes for radiation 5 times a week M-F and receives the chemo drugs through his port M-F as well before being disconnected on Friday).  After Monday's appointment, I will talk about this more.

On the brighter side of things, we went to Pappadeaux's last night and dad was able to down some most delicious lobster bisque.  He said he felt a lot better after that.  I guess you don't really pay attention to how your body reacts to the fuel of food until it doesn't get what it needs.  So, the solution as I see it is for us to eat at Pappadeaux's more often.  Done and done.  I mean, after all, has anyone tried that crab & artichoke cheese dip?  It is so delicious, I could drink it up with a straw.

It's going down the hatch!

Dad ate dinner with us last night.  He actually ATE it.  He didn't drink it, he really did eat it.  That's a big thing as it has been a couple months since he has been able to do that.  Certainly we are excited not to have to witness him grinding up dinner into a brown sludge of not so appetizing appearance, but mostly we are excited because this would make it seem as though the tumor is shrinking and the chemo/rad is already doing its job.

Yesterday, my dad had some biscuits and gravy with sausage and he ate it all up! (which is good because it would have been a cryin' shame to waste biscuits and gravy as it is my favorite breakfast meal).  Then he was able to eat a good portion of his lunch and then he ate all of his dinner without having to excuse himself from the table!  This is good news as he was becoming a little too familiar with the porcelain at my house.  Then I made sure to stock up on extreme moose tracks ice cream which he made sure to have a heaping helping of.

My mom took my dad to the grocery store with her yesterday.  Apparently that was a mistake and she vows (as she's done many times in the past) not to ever let my dad go to the grocery store since he about bought everything that they offer at Kroger.  This is also wonderful news and he is quite excited because his appetite is back!  Obviously there is enough shrinkage of the tumor--I seriously cannot use the word "shrinkage" without my mind going to that Seinfeld episode-- anyway, enough shrinkage of the tumor that his appetite is increasing and food can make its way down the hatch.  

Now we can fatten our daddy up!  I am planning on quite a feast this weekend to celebrate my dad's birthday.  I think I would be in trouble if I put his age, but let's just say he is 25 years older than me!:)  He bought lots of steak and some seafood to celebrate...mmmm...this is the reason I moved so close to home.  Maybe now that he is able to get some food down, he might be worth taking to lunch again.

This is a recent event so we hope it stays this way as it must be pretty frustrating not to eat.  I know that I can hardly survive when I am unable to have access to food for an hour so I can't imagine the frustration of knowing you need to eat but not being able to.  So high fives all around for this success!

I think my dad is pregnant

As you all know, chemo/rad started last week.  Fanny pack has been acquired, drugs are being pumped and now we just kind of sit around and wait for it all to work.  Dad has been busy doing what he does... work, church stuff, being our dad, etc.

I was curious as to how he felt so I asked him and he said, "Oh Eri I'm fine.  I guess I am feeling nauseous a lot and pretty tired here and there, but really it's nothing worse than I expected".

To which I responded, "sounds like how I feel when I'm pregnant.  Is that how you feel when you're pregnant?" 

"Well, Er, I've never been pregnant before but I'm sure it's the same thing".

I knew it.  Having poison pumped through your system really is about the same as having a baby inside you.... no wonder I find it so miserable!  But, thankfully, after I'm pregnant, I realize the result of that pain and discomfort is worth it and so much better when it's over.  Even if it isn't exactly like pregnancy, I'm thinking it all is worth it and we will all be better when it's over.

And so far, I haven't notice the extreme mood swings from my dad that usually accompany my pregnancies but if I am calculating the treatment time correctly, we are still in the first trimester.

Had a heart attack this week!

Well, not an actual heart attack, just some decorations, but I bet I gave a bunch of you one just by the blog title, didn't I!?  I'm hilarious!!!... Anywho....Seeing as it is lover's week, someone went ahead and gave my parents' house a "heart attack".  It was really fun to pull up to the house (they weren't home at the time) and see all the hearts and to know people were thinking of them.  Lucky for them, the dog didn't bite their faces off... you know, since Toby is such a good guard dog and all.

In other news, our church youth are doing a service project where we deliver mulch and spread it to paying neighbors.  I am a leader in the youth program and I had my mom bring my dad's truck up to me to help haul.  Last year, my mom and dad were big helpers for this project, but this year my mom wouldn't let my dad even drive with her to drop off the truck for fear that he would try to lift huge bags of mulch and expend all his energy or hurt himself now that he has that central line in (and yes, I totally got to see it... for some reason I thought it would be more cool lookin', oh well).  Rest assured dad, you helped out... I managed to use up a quarter tank of your gas and also found a couple extra bucks in one of the cubbies that I am sure you were keeping safe there for me to pocket.  Thanks Daddy!